Monday, September 07, 2009

If you don't mind...

If you don't paying only 3 bucks for 3 tickets...
Or trying to find 3 seats together 20 minutes before the show starts...
Or sitting down and wondering what the heck that smell is...

If you don't mind wondering how in the world they could possibly have sold out the early show...
Or being distracted from the movie while you scan dark shapes for whatever it is that smells like vomit and desperately hoping your not sitting in it...
Or chewing stick after stick of Doublemint gum and breathing into the collar of your t-shirt attempting to mask the smell...

If you don't mind becoming increasingly hot and sweaty in the crowded, muggy theater...
Or having to riffle through your purse for an item large enough to fan yourself and your kids...
Or noticing how other shiny, sweaty faces are eyeing your large sheet of Ken Garff coupons...

If you don't mind having to promise your kids you'll never bring them here again...
Or listening to your 8 yr old tell you how much the chairs are hurting his back...
Or panicking and sitting on the edge of your chair for half the movie because you realize the vomit might be dried to your chair...

Then the Towne Center Theatre in American Fork might be the perfect theater for you.
I don't consider myself spoiled when it comes to movie theaters, but this was definitely a first and a last for me.

7 comments:

Peggy said...

Hahahahaha! I love your descriptions--- so vivid, I felt like I was there! (And I'm feeling VERY grateful that I wasn't.)

Was the movie a good one? Or did it stink as much as the theater?

Kristine said...

It's the sticky shoe for a reason... ha ha ha!

tammy said...

I hope it wasn't Star Trek....that would be a shame! And now I will also call it the stinky shoe......

becca said...

EEEEEWWWWWWW! I feel queasy after that perfect description. I hope to never see a theater when the light are all on.....

burkitos said...

It probably would have been ok if the smell wasn't there and if the AC was on. Gee, little things make a big diff. AM SO GLAD I WAS NOT THERE!!!
Great description. I could just feel your pain! Makes me want to get this couch cleaned. Ha Ha

kellieanne said...

Carson, Seth, Brian and Lanette tried to get tickets for Transformers there on Monday but it was sold out. Now I can share what the silver lining was to that experience.

i'm erin. said...

Ha ha ha...that's the right attitude! see why I love the Pleasant Grove Water Gardens?