Friday, January 23, 2009

TO THE SPOILED, UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill...barefoot...BOTH ways...

Yadda, yadda, yadda...

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in heck I was going to lay a bunch of garbage like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it SO easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a darn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid, we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the darn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the darn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and messed it all up!

There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone...cause that's how we rolled, dig?

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were messed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled brats.

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

8 comments:

Big Papi said...

Word.

tammy said...

That is the freaking funniest thing I have read in WEEKS!! Hahaha--I totally remember trying to record the song I wanted off the radio!! And the game did just get harder and harder, and faster and faster!! Ahh...those were the good old days.....

kellieanne said...

AMEN!
Geez, I'm getting old.

burkitos said...

I wonder what things will be like when the gkids are over 30!

Misha said...

You crack me up! But everything you said was absolutely, 100% true. No exaggerations. Now I'm mad at these little brats. They really do have it way too easy. What a funny post. I loved it.

Kendall said...

I love your post I am a little younger I remember having to tape songs, but I did grow up with a cd player/tape player. And we also didn't have DVD players. We had VHS!

Kimmie said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...........................................................................(Breath)hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

JoMamma said...

My childhood sucked too. I mean my parents didn't love me and they wanted me dead. We had no safety equipment for our bikes. They never made us wear seat belts, and we got to ride around in the back of the pickup. They must have wanted to kill me and my siblings off. I wonder what type of insurance they had on each of us. :) I also have nothing but bad memories about my childhood.